Top Ten Signs You've Over Dosed on Star Wars

1. You stay up late watching Star Wars and the next day all your humming is the Star Wars theme song

2. Strange, eerie voices in your head tell you to use the force

3. You develop strong metal problems, some of them in result of elapsed memory, You can't figure out if Luke has a sister, or if Vader really is his father

4. Some times it seems like your neighbors dogs are barking the Star Wars theme song

5. Since the trilogy came out you've never seen the light of day

6. You've seen the ewok movies(including the animated ones)

7. You scrape your knee or get a cut and you tell your loved one you need more time in the bacta

8. You write top ten list on how to kill Lando, or top ten list on what the surgeons would like to do with Luke Skywalkers face

9. 1 word: Hallucinations

10. And the final reason is: Your nightmares consist of the ewoks running at you with sticks and butcher knifes!!!!!!!!



10. The Rebel flightsuits are Versace

9. Darth Vader, in a cut scene, shows his sensitive side by saying, "*sniff* I loved you once, Ben Kenobi."

8. Aunt Beru and Uncle Owen were both dating someone else

7. Han starts moo-ing like a cow while making repairs

6. Gonk droids have great senses of humor

5. Luke actually is a man, straight, and not in love with his sister. Huh! Well, who woulda thunk?

4. While Alderaan is blasted, an Imperial officer mistakes Leia's hair for a doughnut and starts chewing on her head. (You've got to look closely for this one)

3. Artoo and Threepio were not just innocently hiding from stormies in Mos Eisley - probably lied about other things, too

2. Admiral Ackbar lives in a goldfish bowl

1.    Chewbacca really did get a medal at the Battle of Yavin awards thingy, it's just an invisible medal that was given to his in the Official Rebel Bathroom by 56th officer Tipsy McPerve


Top ten rejected Star Wars Scenes

10. Shot of Stormtroopers moshing at a rock concert (of your choice)

9. Luke turns to the Dark Side because he heard it had some pretty good restaurants

8. Han visits an Ewok peep show

7. Chewie gets shaved and drunk

6. R2-D2 mud-wrestling with Yoda while Luke, now a very lonely young Jedi, places bets on the winner with his X-Wing

5. Lando discos the night away with C-3PO

4. R2 forgets to let the Wookiee win because, since he has no arms to speak of, Chewbacca cannot rip them off

3. Leia gets lost in the supermarket

2. Luke boogies down to the Beastie Boys after the awards ceremony after the Battle of Yavin

1.  Lando dies. And dies. And dies some more. Ahahahahahahahahahahahaha!


Even More Alternatives to 'Luke I am your Father'

1. Um, April Fools Day was last week.

2. Hey, that must mean my name is really 'Lord Skywalker' - cool!

3. "Father?" George Lucas, you're dead meat!

4. Wait til I tell 'National Enquirer' - I'll be rich.

5. Ah, that's why I was born with a 'Made in Taiwan' birthmark.

6. Haha, next you'll say that Leia is my sister.

7. No you're not -see, Mum and Obi had this relationship and..

8. Right, I want my own Death Star.

9. Suddenly I want to do some cordless bungy jumping.

10. For a second there I thought you said 'mother'..



10. Much cooler than a flashlight

9. Easier to handle than a clumsy blaster

8. Some things are just more fun to cut with a simple flick of the wrist

7. How else are you going to fight Darth Vader?

6. To keep you safe from the Sand person(s) under your bed...

5. Try to think of one reason why it WOULDN'T be great to own a lightsaber

4. They come in those cool colors

3. The woosh sound they make when they are being used

2. Being a Jedi Knight would Rock!

1. Girls might come up to you and say, "Is that a lightsaber in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?